Dating compatibility red wolf am i dating a dork
but so much of pick-up is based around mistaken ideas regarding gender roles and female sexuality that it’s difficult to sort the gold from the toxic, rape-y dross.
Of course, there are a lot of people who don’t feel this way.
It’s your job to do the discovery work and you have to prepare yourself that sometimes you’ll make discoveries that mean you have to opt out.
Yeah it’s a pain in the arse, but it’s better than the pain that comes with detracting from yourself or pursuing something past its sell by date.
It’s a mindset that shows up a lot in the nether regions of the internet that’s basically a mix of PUA and Men Going Their Own Way, but with a lot more violent misogyny.
Now I get it – many people do date because they want to find someone to share a relationship with. If you’re feeling very ‘date or die’, tough as it may be to hear, it’s time to have an honest conversation with yourself and get your personal security in order.
Ideally, I’d like to think they were all looking for a mutually fulfilling relationship with love, care, trust, and respect…but a lot of people don’t know what a relationship looks like, never mind a healthy one – they just know they want one. So badly in fact, that I hear too many tales of people going into fixing/helping/healing/arguing/crisis management mode when they hardly know their dates. Desperation and insecurity either draw in shady people or filter out decent people as it’s kind of exhausting.
As I’m fond of saying, dating success is 80% attitude and 20% skill, and a of that attitude involves both issues of masculinity and also understanding and empathizing with women.
The people who do best with women are the ones who not only understand them but, critically, don’t view them as opponents, enemies or inferiors.
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Much of what we assume to be the accepted wisdom regarding relationships is based around intellectual fallacies and cultural assumptions with no actual fact behind them.